Hey, everyone! I have spent the last week in Cape Tribulation, the place where the rainforest meets the Great Barrier Reef. It has been a pretty important week for me. I’m really grateful for how it ended up working out.

Introduction to Cape Tribulation… and Disconnecting

When I first arrived to Cape Tribulation, I was rather hesitant. As soon as I got off the bus, I realized… I had absolutely no internet connection. I suddenly was reminded of my traumatizing experience (kidding… kind of) in Coral Bay where I had very limited wi-fi connection. What was I going to do?!

Cape Tribulation is a very small town. It is essentially a grocery store, a cafe, a restaurant, a beach, and a rainforest. One might argue it is actually even smaller than Coral Bay. And yet, it’s a beautiful area. Lush plant life grows everywhere. Tall trees, huge banana leaves, coconut trees at the beach that people collect and break open. And the beach is lovely, too, although you can’t go in the water because crocodiles might be camouflaged just under the water, waiting for you to make that one fatal misstep.

I had time to kill when I first arrived. My bus got in a little after 9am but check-in wasn’t until noon (the receptionist later told me it was actually 2pm… hateful). I walked around the “town” and tried to get my bearings together.

I was a little panicked about not being able to connect with people back home. I know it sounds silly, but being so far away from my loved ones, it is really nice to be able to at least just text or call them every day to check in. Being unable to communicate with people back home left me feeling slightly panicked. And my darling nephew’s 12th birthday was coming up – how was I going to relay a Happy Birthday to him? That first day was pretty rough – being forced to disconnect from the Outside World.

At one point, I ran into Michelle – a woman who took the bus up from Cairns with me. She was eating lunch, but I asked if I could join her. Little did I know at the time, this would be the answer to the forced digital detox: connection. Michelle and I chatted for a while. She lives in Broome but has been traveling around Australia for the past half year. She is on what’s called “long leave,” which is when you’re allowed to take about half a year off of work, paid, after having worked at a job for ten years or so. How amazing is that?

Michelle was a bit of a hippy. We talked about yoga, meditation, therapy (she’s a therapist), Australia, travel, and more. She seemed very calm, very grounded.

After a while, it was time to check in to our accommodation, so we parted ways.

Mason’s Swimming Hole

On my first full day in Cape Tribulation, I decided to go to Mason’s Swimming Hole. Maybe a fifteen minute walk from my accommodation, I had to follow a path down to the swimming hole. There was a small family who warned me to enter the water from the left side – the other side had… something sharp in the water? It was a little unclear. I think it was fallen palm fronds that get stuck to your skin and hurt you when trying to free yourself of them.

The water was pretty cold but I decided to brave it anyway. The swimming hole was sheltered by the trees so I didn’t need to worry about sunscreen, always a nice bonus. Lots of little fish swam around the area – it was funny to later witness a teenage girl freak out about them. “They’re everywhere!” she cried out. They’re fish!!!

(P.S. I didn’t take any pictures at Mason’s Swimming Hole, so I’ve put some butterflies here instead haha. Bonus: in the early days of Covid easing restrictions, I went with my friend Jen to the butterfly garden in Chicago. The one butterfly that landed on me was a blue butterfly like the one above.)

I swam for a while and then situated myself along a small boulder sticking out of the water. I sat with my feet in the water.

Michelle had mentioned the day before that she was going to go to Mason’s Swimming Hole as well, and sure enough, there she was. She swam in the water for a while and then joined me by the rocks, sitting down. We talked about all kinds of things – how the Aboriginal communities in this area are called “saltwater mobs,” versus those in Alice Springs and Yulara who are “desert mobs,” etc.

At one point, I had to use the “toilet” (aka some trees) and upon returning, the water felt so much colder than it was initially. I went in waist-deep, but couldn’t bear the thought of swimming again. It was frigid and I was shaking. So I left!

Mason’s Swimming Hole was a lovely, secluded area. Perfect for a dip in the water, away from those hungry crocodiles.

Dubuji, Madja, and Kulki Boardwalks

The Kulki boardwalk is a little bit further north from my accommodation and is a very short walk with a nice lookout point. I walked this one while I was with Charlie and Carlos on our day trip to Cape Tribulation. It is probably my least favorite – not because it isn’t beautiful or anything, but just that it’s a really quick walk.

The Madja boardwalk is much farther away, but one of my favorites. I began walking there one day, not realizing how far away it was. Eleven kilometers, which is… six miles? One way! I hadn’t walked far from my accommodation when one of my dorm mates pulled over in his car and asked if I wanted a ride. Sure! This boardwalk was definitely my favorite. It’s about 45min long, and it takes you through a lot of different plant life and terrains. At certain points, I was crossing over creeks and streams. I wish it had been closer to my accommodation, because I would have liked to return there for a night walk one evening.

The easiest and most frequent activity I did while in Cape Tribulation was walk the Dubuji boardwalk. Minutes away from my dorm room, I was able to walk along a boardwalk through the rainforest – observing all types of plant life. I’ve wandered along the boardwalk again and again – during the day, at night. I’ve seen mud crabs, frogs, cane toads, ants, snakes, and loads of spiders. The night walks were quite scary at first, but I was able to recruit some of the others from my room to join me at times. Some of them were more scared than I was! Although, being with others certainly helps lessen the fear. I felt I was sort of “leading” the group, and it gave me courage. The worst case scenario was that someone would get bitten by a snake, and with five flashlights/torches, surely someone would spot a snake before it had a chance to bite… right?

My favorite sighting at Dubuji was a keelback snake during the daytime. I hadn’t yet photographed such a colorful snake – with the exception of maybe the woma python in Yulara. I spotted its head popping out from underneath the boardwalk.

Usually, when a reptile notices you’ve spotted it, it bolts off. So instead, I turned the other way, got my camera ready, and once I was ready, I was able to snap a couple of pictures before the snake disappeared under the boardwalk. I was hoping it would come out the other end of the boardwalk… and it did! What an incredible moment! I was able to watch it for a few moments before it slowly retreated behind a tree. Yay!

Emmagen Creek

My visit to Emmagen Creek was one of my absolute favorite moments in Cape Tribulation. I think this was the first day I actually felt… present. Resigned to the digital detox.

I had seen Emmagen Creek on some maps around town and knew that it was a popular swimming hole. After doing a yoga stretch on the beach one morning, I decided to head over there. I didn’t realize just how long of a walk it actually was. I think it was another six miles one way, similar to the Madja boardwlk. After walking uphill, downhill, uphill downhill, and then realizing I still wasn’t even halfway, I decided to do something I don’t think I’ve ever done before… I stuck out my thumb.

Erin picked me up – a nurse who works down in Cairns. She stays in Cairns during her nursing swings, then comes back to Bloomfield (north of Cape Tribulation) when she isn’t working. We had a lovely chat, but after a few minutes, we’d arrived at the creek. She dropped me off and I thanked her. She continued along down the road… a road that literally drove through the creek, similar to Cahill’s Crossing in Kakadu National Park. So wild!

I thought the creek was right there and I was going to just dip my toes in, but a man approached me and said, “There’s a nice swimming hole [over that way].” I thanked him, realizing I probably just put my feet in a crocodile-infested river haha. Yikes!

I walked to the swimming hole and immediately found it 1,000x better than Mason’s Swimming Hole. The vibe was just different. A wall of rocks formed a very tiny waterfall on one side of the swimming area. A fallen tree stuck out of the center of the swimming hole. I cursed myself for not bringing my bathing suit, but… well, nobody was around.

So I got naked! And I went for a swim!

The water was cool, but like my trip to Behana Gorge with Charlie and Carlos, it felt invigorating. Except, it wasn’t nearly as cold as Behana Gorge. I swam around. The resident fish scurried away when I got too close. I dunked my head in the water, looked up at the sky through the trees. It was a very special moment.

A couple came over to the swimming hole at one point and I swam to the deep end, hoping to avoid their curious eyes… but I’m pretty sure they knew what was going on haha. They took a few pictures of the area (NOT me haha) and then left. Eventually, the water started to feel too cold, so I ended up getting out and drying off. I sat along the water’s edge for some time, meditating with the sounds of gently flowing water in my ears.

As I started walking back to town, I realized I had seen another small trail on a map leading to the beach. I decided to check it out and I’m really glad I did. The rainforest opened up to a seemingly private beach, dotted with big rocks and mangroves. Still on a high from my skinny dip and meditation, I was feeling pretty blissful to come across this secret spot.

Later, I returned to the road and hitched a ride back into town. Can you believe people still pick up hitchhikers?! This time, it was a family visiting from Sydney. I chatted with them about their vacation and then thanked them after they dropped me off. I think I’m learning that most people are actually good, and mean well. I don’t know that I always believe that, but more recently, I do.

Days later, I still think about Emmagen Creek and how wonderful it felt to just be in nature, au naturel. A lovely experience.

Night Walks

Night walks are something I had been wanting to do for a while, but hadn’t mustered up the courage to do it until I went to Fogg Dam with John in Darwin. Since the boardwalk near my Cape Tribulation hostel was… well, an elevated boardwalk, it seemed safer to navigate on my own. I’m not sure I’d feel quite as confident if it was a narrow hiking path.

So much wildlife is nocturnal – all types of marsupials (kangaroos, wombats, wallabies, etc.), some snakes, frogs, etc. It really seems like THE TIME to go explore. So I wanted to take advantage of it while I had a seemingly safe boardwalk nearby.

As I mentioned before, I was feeling pretty scared at first. It is a spooky feeling to be walking along with a weak flashlight/torch, hoping to see a snake but also hoping NOT to see a snake haha.

After I went by myself, I went with majority of the others in my dorm room – Minnie, Carla, Nelle, and Bobby. They were freaked out (save Bobby). The next night I went with my other dorm mate, Zach.

I think my favorite night walk was the penultimate one – my second to last night in Cape Tribulation. I had gone for dinner and was walking along the road when I heard rustling in a tree to my left. I shone my light on it and it was… a striped possum! They are quite possibly the cutest creatures I’ve ever experienced in life. Absolutely adorable. I also saw a giant centipede that was probably double the length the one I saw at Fogg Dam, although wasn’t able to get a picture in time. It’s very hard to do night photography – it would be helpful to have someone else shine a light on the subject so I can get the image in focus. Alas!

I then continued on to a night walk along Dubuji again. There were heaps of spiders around, but the one thing I really wanted to see was a snake – and I saw one! I’m not sure what it was. I’m going to chat with my Naturalists group and see if they can help identify it. I’m thinking either a water or tree snake, because those guys are local to the area. Unfortunately, I didn’t get a picture of its head. It was hard enough to get an in-focus picture, and at this point it had slithered away pretty far. This was the first time I’ve ever seen a snake on my own and I didn’t even feel scared. The snake gently slithered through the foliage, eventually disappearing behind a tree. I said, “thank you!” to both the snake and the universe.

I had seen a pamphlet for a “night walk” that was $50 through an organized tour. I told myself that was quite pricy to just go for a walk in the dark, and I didn’t want to do it. After going on my night walks with my dorm mates, though, I kept thinking about it. I returned to the pamphlet and realized that they use a thermal heat device that allows them to spot wildlife more easily. Okay, I’m in, I told myself. That will be fun! (Afterthought: They didn’t end up using the thermal device… but it was still a great experience!)

As I was walking over on the night of the tour… I saw ANOTHER snake on the side of the road. My eighth snake sighting in ten months of being in Australia! Yahoo! My friend John told me I’ve seen more snakes in Australia than he’s seen in his life… and he’s from Australia! When I talked with the tour guide after the night tour, she told me it’s pretty rare to see (three) snakes during “wintertime”. Lucky me!

I’m so glad I ended up doing the tour. It was really fun to walk through lush rainforest without a boardwalk, shining bright torches and trying to spot everything we possibly could. It was a small group – seven of us – but everyone seemed to be having a good time. At a certain point, it started pouring rain. I shielded my camera with my rain jacket and continued on. We saw snails, worms, spiders, stick bugs, and crickets with extremely long antennae.

The highlight of the night for me was seeing not one, but TWO Boyd’s forest dragons! I couldn’t use my flash because the dragons were sleeping and we didn’t want to wake them up, so all I have is a crappy iPhone picture haha. That’s okay! The forest dragons have very long tails. They kind of reminded me of frilled-neck lizards.

After the tour, I talked with the guide for a little bit longer. We talked about snakes, tawny frogmouths, tree kangaroos, and how long she’s been a tour guide for. She was really nice and informative and even gave me a ride back to my accommodation afterwards. It was absolutely worth the experience and a perfect way to wrap up my time in Cape Tribulation.

Connection

Among my past ten months in Australia, I think that my time in Cape Tribulation will have perhaps been one of the most meaningful in certain ways. As I mentioned earlier, I was very anxious about being disconnected from my family back home and not having the answers to any question I wanted with the tap of a finger. I think it was more difficult for me in Coral Bay because I did still have SOME wi-fi, just limited. Here, I had no choice but to admit defeat. It is hard, sometimes, to just be with yourself. With no distractions. I had no control. I had no internet. And it was absolutely for the best.

I think by the end of my first full day, I had gotten into the groove of it. No Facebook, no Instagram, no Reddit, no emails. What a world!

How would I fill my time? I decided to go back to what I know. Making art, doing yoga, reading, meditating, writing.

In the mornings, I would go to the beach. Normally, I follow along to exercises on YouTube, but with no internet, I had to let my body tell me which moves come next. My body has been lacking consistent exercise over the past several months. So many days, I wake up early and go do some adventure but end up not doing routine exercising. In Cape Tribulation, I’ve been able to reconnect with my body, spend time with it – stretching, balancing. Sigh. Afterwards, I would meditate for a little while as well – or maybe that would come later in the day.

I don’t think I’ve fully expressed it in a totally honest way yet, but I have been feeling incredibly uninspired and frustrated with my artwork lately. I can create things, sure, but they haven’t held my interest for… months, probably. They have been more of a chore (although an enjoyable chore). Since being here, I’ve taken the time. I’ve sat down, looked at the references, and I’ve come up with something new and exciting for me. I am so happy with the works I’ve been churning out the past week. I even did a self-portrait, which I haven’t done in well over a year. I hope that inspiration keeps coming – although, I also recognize that at times, it’s an ebb and flow.

I finished reading White Oleander, which is a phenomenal book and movie. As if someone knew, a book was waiting for me in my dorm when I arrived in Cape Tribulation. So I read that one – Enigma Variations which was written by the author of Call Me By Your Name. Leave it to the universe to have some queer fiction waiting for me in the remote rainforest haha.

Which takes us to… writing. I have a bit of a tumultuous relationship with writing. I love to type up this blog, but when it comes to stories, I really, really doubt myself. Way more than making art, way more than photography. I suppose it has to do with a lack of confidence in my writing. I read some books and think, now THAT is some beautiful prose. And I don’t think I’m really capable of that. What I am capable of… is conversation. Movement. I think, anyway.

I wrote a book before Covid that I tried to get published – it is a queer love story. I thought it was actually pretty good but after shopping it around to a few publishing houses, I was met with only rejection. And that happens! I hadn’t really written anything since then, feeling discouraged, even though I’ve had this other idea in mind for years now. I think it actually came to me in a dream. The Death of Duncan Lee, it was to be called. So, while I’ve toyed with the idea of starting to write it for months and even years now, I’ve finally begun. It might end up being a short story, but at least it will be a story I will have told. I would also like to try to get my original book published, too. We’ll see. The other day, as I was walking to the beach, I asked myself, “Is [this story] any good?” Immediately, a voice (my voice?) answered, “Yes. Keep writing.” So I shall.

So… yeah. The answer to the initial “disconnection” from the internet ended up being… connection. Connecting with myself. My body, my mind, my soul. My art, my creativity, my fellow human beings. I am really so pleased with how my time in Cape Tribulation had turned out. I don’t think I would have had an experience anywhere near what I’ve had, had I had the internet available at my fingertips. And hopefully that’s a lesson I’ll be able to carry with me from now on.

Miscellaneous

I have so many random things to share. This post is becoming REALLY long, hey?

Before leaving Cairns to head to Cape Tribulation, there were a few more interesting experiences at the hostel.

One night, I walked into the communal, unisex bathrooms and saw a girl with her head sticking out from under the stall, peering into the next stall over where her friend was using the toilet. Her hair was touching the filthy ground. I was like, “ew,” but then after I’d finished using the toilet, the girl exited her stall with… well, she had no underwear or shorts on, let’s put it that way hahaha. So insane, this party hostel, I tell you.

One day while sitting outside the hostel, I saw a campervan pull up and a dreaded dude and chick came out of the car. They were hugging tightly, kissing, whispering into each others ears. I thought they were just very much in love at first, as if this is a routine thing that they do. But then the girl got in the van and drove away, and I got the feeling they were actually parting ways. The dude checked into the hostel and I saw him later on that day. I went up to him and asked if everything was okay, said it looked like a bit of an emotional goodbye. He explained that they’d been traveling together for two weeks straight, but that he was starting a contracted job in Cairns and she was continuing on with her travel. So sad! He seemed grateful that I checked in on him.

And if y’all remember the dorm mate drama from last week… there was a finale moment the following night.

I stayed up until 1am, but then tried to go to sleep. And sure enough, a little while later, two people lay down in the bed next to mine and they start SMASHING! I was like, I cannot even believe this haha. I had headphones in and was listening to thunderstorms (to try to keep from being woken up), but I could still hear them. And then afterwards, they just kept talking. I looked at my phone, annoyed that it was 2.30am, and said, “Can you guys shut the fuck up, please? It’s 2.30am. Bad enough to have to hear your mediocre sex. Go outside if you want to talk.” They shut up after that.

Maybe fifteen minutes later, their friends came back into the hostel, too. They were basically congratulating the dude for having had sex, and then they continued to talk. I figured I’d give them some extra time before telling them off, since they’d only just gotten back in and maybe needed a few minutes to unwind. Well, sure enough they just kept going on and on and on. Talking, laughing, turning the flashlights on to look for someone’s missing phone. Eventually, I said, “Yo, what’s the deal, you guys? Can’t you just go to bed? So inconsiderate. You guys are literally the worst hostel mates ever. So fucking rude.” They shut up, too, then, and went out on the back patio where they continued to talk and laugh.

The next morning I switched dorm rooms, but I did apologize to them first. I said, “Sorry for being a dick last night,” or something like that – but to be fair, they were being very inconsiderate of other people trying to sleep. They brushed it off, said that they get it and can’t imagine what it must be like to deal with such a rowdy bunch. I felt a little bad about it, because I do feel I targeted them in a hateful way with the “mediocre sex” and “worst hostel mates ever” comments. So I was glad we kind of had closure in a sense, and there hopefully wasn’t any animosity after that.

The day before leaving Cairns, my favorite band in life, The Dresden Dolls, were live streaming one of their gigs in New Orleans. They have reunited and are in the process of making a new album together, for the first time in almost two decades. I watched the live stream and was overjoyed, even tearing up at times, to see the two of them playing together. They even played a new song which got me really excited to hear what the rest of the album will sound like. I took screenshots of the stream and have posted below.

That night, I went for a walk along the esplanade and saw some HUGE telescopes lined up, pointing at the moon. I asked one of the guys what was going on, and he said they were bored and decided to bring out their scopes to look at the moon. He let me take a look through his massive telescope. Never before have I seen such details of the moon with my eyes. All the craters! It was pretty magnificent.

Fast forward to Cape Tribulation… for being a rainforest, it had hardly rained at all for the first days of me being there. One morning it drizzled for a few minutes, another night it drizzled again. Mostly, though, it was pretty much clear skies. It wasn’t until I finally decided “I’m gonna go lay out in the sun!” and put all this sunscreen on and went to the beach that it started to rain. After that, it rained all afternoon and all night. It pretty much kept raining the rest of my duration in Cape Tribulation. It was beautiful to hear such consistent, steady rain. One of my favorite things in life! Good thing I got that hefty rain jacket in Bordertown. All I had to do to make it rain in the rainforest was try and get some sun at the beach, I suppose.

There is a resident peacock that would hang out at the Cape Tribulation accommodation. One night, I saw it on the roof of one of the dorms. Another day, it was perched outside someone’s room. I had no idea peacocks could fly.

(This peacock also walked right by me as I was getting on the bus to leave Cape Tribulation!)

I also made a teeny-tiny little spider friend. He would come hang out with me sometimes when I was reading outside my dorm room. He crawled up onto the chair’s arm one day. Another day, he actually crawled up MY arm, would let me pick him up with a finger, etc.

On Friday and Saturday nights, there was entertainment at the restaurant next to my accommodation. This entertainment was a hippy duo playing chimes, drums, and the didgeridoo. Pretttttty trippy!!!

There were lots of flying fox bats around and even some microbats, too!

I did realize at one point that I technically had texting within Australia in Cape Tribulation – so I ended up asking my Perth friend Liam to email my dad to let him and my mom know I’m okay, and also to send my nephew a birthday message. That was the most important thing for me – being able to at least communicate to them that I’m alive, and to wish my nephew a Happy Birthday. Yay!

And lastly… while returning from a night walk one night, I accidentally stepped on a cane toad. I knew I had stepped on something, and heard what sounded like a squeaky toy deflating. I turned around to look at what it was, shone my flashlight down, and sure enough… cane toad. It seemed completely unbothered and just hopped away. So wild.

(As I was leaving the Cape Tribulation accommodation, I noticed a couple of people asking the receptionist about the wi-fi. If they’re anything like me… it will be for the best.)

Art of the Week

I decided to highlight my self-portrait this week, since that is the one that is the most meaningful for me. I don’t always feel beautiful, but I do tell myself I am often. The reference photo I took of myself looked a bit haggard – sunken eyes under shitty, fluorescent lighting. I think it might be one of the best – or at least more honest – self-portraits I’ve ever done.

Reflections

Wow. This has been such a long post haha, but I suppose a lot has been going on.

I feel most of my “reflecting” was during the “Connections” segment of this post, so I don’t have much to mention here.

One thing I thought was very cool was that I had seen three snakes in 24 hours… on the 10 month anniversary of my being in Australia.

What’s next? Hmm… well, the main thing is that before I left for Cape Tribulation, I got my dive course sorted! Remember how I was bummed out that the tour agent had tricked me into a four day DAY TRIP course? Well, I ended up getting it sorted. I’m now doing a five day course – hallelujah! Two days are training on land, but then it’s three days/two nights living aboard the boat on the reef. I cannot wait. I’m very excited for it!

Other than that, I’m not sure! I will likely be in Cairns until July 17th, before I slowly start to make my way down to Sydney. I’m trying to hold onto the warmth as long as I can before heading to Sydney, where it’s much colder. I can’t believe I only have about two more months left in Australia!

Until next time! Sending you all my love. xx

(UPDATE: the two snakes at night were in fact identified as slatey greys!)